A Father's Love

I was brought to tears again today but this time they were tears of awe at my Saviour. That He should know me so intimately, so wholly...that He should know what my aching heart needs before the words form on my lips...that He should send me HIS comfort and joy like a healing balm to my riped heart...What a LOVE! What a God we serve...I am so amazed at my Saviour anew today as I was yesterday. I want to share my joy with you and in case any of you out there today are doubting His love or goodness my prayer is that these crude words will break the doubt you may be feeling. This morning I logged on to my computer to check my email. One of the emails I got was a recent article published by the March of Dimes in the New York Times. I typically delete emails like this because my time on the computer tends to be very limited but something told me to read it. The article spoke of how many parents of premature babies who have been in the ICN for a long time and whose babies have had many medical issues and/or life threatening conditions can be affected by the emotional, mental and physical stress of this experience long after it has happened. After all, once the baby goes home the healing continues, the appointments continue and the stress, fear of losing your child and weariness is still often wrapped around a mothers heart. One of the things the article said is that "Later, mothers might experience "vulnerable child syndrome," in which they become so anxious that a minor medical event sends them into a panic. Normal, everyday risks can seem life-threatening;" I don't think I am THAT bad but I definitely feel what they described in a much milder form. Reading this article let me know that I am not alone and that there are mothers out there whom I should be praying for. How kind of God to let me know this!!! I know that this to shall pass...and I know that God is always with me but I am happy to know that I am not crazy and that there are women out there who have experienced similar emotions. And if that wasn't enough...I then logged onto this site. I was not going to write anything today. I don't even know why I logged on...There was a comment left at the bottom of my last entry so I took the time to read it. The comment that was left turned me into a sobbing mess! Once again, not because I was sad, but because the words that were written were like a healing balm to my soul. What my friend said is what I have been hearing God whisper to my heart. He knew that I needed more of a human touch and gave it to me. How very kind of HIM to care for me in that way! That this friend would see the Light of Christ and His strength in me when I feel weak and inadequate...That she would be encouraged and inspired by how I am handling this...Well...she does not know all the ugly parts of me...but for her to say what she did...I can't even tell you how healing that was. The Mic-Key button surgery took me for a major spin...I know it is good but...well, I can relate with that article and to know that God really is working in my weakness and that He is healing my heart while healing my daughters body made my heart sing with joy and thanksgiving today! I hope that me sharing this won't make you think I am too loony...My hope is that it will turn your heart to a loving God who longs to hold you in HIS arms and mend your wounds. Don't turn Him away. He knows your pain better then you do. He weeps with you and understands and gives you all that you need. Thank you for your support and prayers! They mean a lot...Oh, and by the way, Alex started clapping for the very first time yesterday! So cute! Enjoy the rest of your week!