The Circle of Life

As some of you may know my Grandmother (my Mom's Mom) has been fighting cancer (Melanoma) for some time. My Grandmother has Diabetes and has had Diabetes since I can remember. She also has heart disease. Diabetes, heart disease and old age made the cancer and cancer treatments that much more of a challenge. God has been good to us though. It's been years since the diagnosis of my Grandmother's Melanoma and years of doctors saying that my Grandmother does not have much time to live. She surprised them all - over and over again. This summer things took a turn for the worse. The cancer began to spread and a spot was found on my Grandmother's lungs. As a result my Grandmother began coughing up blood. This would come and go. The doctors said that my Grandmother would not live past this year. They did offer us an option of surgery but were not optimistic about the outcome. My family opted against yet another surgery and my Grandmother did not want it. She already had to have the cancer cut out of her face multiple times with only a local anesthetic due to her heart condition (her heart would not likely be able to handle general anesthesia). Chemo was out of the question because she would probably not be able to handle it's affects nor did she want to. Recently my Grandmother began coughing up blood more frequently and even at night. We were told that soon she would choke on the blood she is coughing up. My Grandmother said she is ready to leave this world and is at peace about it. She said that she lived a full life, raised great kids and even lived to see most of her great-grandchildren. Her prayer was that she would die in her sleep. I have been planning on going to visit my Grandmother for four years now (my Grandmother as well as most of my family live in Poland) and every year I was unable to go. My wish was that I would see her before she died and that she would get to hold Alex and meet Steve. My parents, Steve, Alex and made plans to go to Poland this summer and I have been praying that God would work a miracle and sustain her till our visit. My parents asked me to call my Grandmother this week because her health did not look very promising. There is a 6 hour time difference and I have been out all week going to appointments which make my mornings hectic...Today I am home catching up and only had to run out for a little bit in the mid-afternoon so I planned on calling my Grandmother today. Early this morning did not work out because I overslept and was franticly multitasking getting Alex ready, her feed ready, getting a shower, breakfast and doing laundry. I figured that once Alex goes down for her nap at 11:00 a.m. I would call. 11:00 a.m. came and as I geared up to call I felt the Holy Spirit STRONGLY say "PRAY. YOU NEED TO PRAY." So I sat on my living room couch and began to pray. As I prayed tears rolled down my face and I felt Lord's gentle whisper speaking to my heart "Your Grandmother is dying. She is daying right now. Keep praying." I tried to push those words away but they kept coming and I continued to pray - for my Grandmother, for my Mother, for my family in Poland, for God to please allow me to see her or talk to her and if not then to give me peace and not allow me to be angry even if I don't understand. I finished praying, wiped my tears and read the next little section of a book I am reading called Loving God with All Your Mind. I read a section form that book every day before my Bible reading. Today's section just happened to talk about planning, praying, proceeding and trusting God's provision in the midths of illness or even death of a loved one. I put my book and Bible down. It was 12:00 noon and Alex was surprisingly still sleeping. I took a deep breath and dialed my Grandmother's phone number. No answer. I txt my Mom to tell her that I called and there is not answer so I will try to call tomorrow. I then woke up Alex, got her situated, gave her the 1:00 p.m. feed and left to go to my appointment; accidentally leaving my cell phone behind (which I never do). When I returned home I had a message from my mom; she was crying and telling me that the reason why my Grandmother did not answer is because she died. Not details at that time. My mom would call one of her sisters to find out what happened and what she was told blew my mind. My Grandmother lives with my uncle. My uncle said that my grandmother was fine when he came home from work and that around 5:00 p.m. (11:00 a.m our time) she went to her bedroom to take a nap. The phone rang an hour later (my Grandmother always pick up the phone) and my uncle got concerned because my Grandmother was not picking up the phone. So he went into the bedroom to see if my Grandmother was okay only to witness her begining to cough in her sleep and taking her last breath. My Grandmother died the way she wanted to - peacefully in her sleep. And I...even though I did not get to speak to her or see her or have her hold Alex or meet Steve...I was assigned the task of praying for her during her last hour on this earth while the Lord was preparing her to exit this world and enter the next. I was assigned the task of calling as she was getting ready to take her last breath in order to alarm my uncle so that he could be by her side as she died and in turn contact the rest of our family right away. I am still processing...and will be for a while. I am said that God's plan did not include me talking to or seeing my Grandmother or even being able to go to her funeral (which my parents are leaving for tomorrow and will return on the 28th). I am happy I got to pray for her during her last hour on earth. I am glad I called when I did and that this alarmed my uncle and that her remains did not lay there undiscovered for hours or maybe even till the next day. I am glad that even though we live an ocean apart, have not talked for a few months or seen each other in 4 years God in His great power and love allowed me to play such an important part in my Grandmother's last hour and passing. Only HE could orchestrate it so perfectly, down to the last minute, down to the last detail! Our God is a MIGHTY God! Powerful and worthy of praise! I am humbled...truly. I just wish I could have at least talked to my Grandmother one last time...and I don't understand why God did not allow me to...and maybe I never will. It makes me sad. No one said trust and faith are easy though..If you could keep my family in your prayers during this time I would appreciate it. Thank you.